Wednesday, July 14, 2010

How to hide things....


The news today tells me that "Dubai authorities have announced that controversial body scanners will not be used at the Emirates' airports, in a blow to US security authorities who are facing a continued domestic backlash against the machines."

This bothers me!

I can just imagine the pervy wannabe security men in Dubai are bothered by this too. They've probably been filing applications for the position for months! They must now be gutted that there's STILL no way to see beneath women's abayas without marrying them.

Anyway, unfortunately for all, Dubai has announced that such scanners, designed to help security see through clothing "do not correspond with national customs and ethics," and this is what bothered me more than anything. Some of the practices in Dubai don't correspond with innocent, visiting holiday-makers either, like chucking every other drunk or "suspicious looking" person in the slammer.

One bigwig called Brig Ahmed bin Thani says “I do not feel that it is necessary for us to implement such a technology while we are operating different methods and have different avenues that have worked so far.”

Hmmm. Ok, what methods are those then Ahmed? Ooooh yes, that's right, the method of locking everyone up till they're proven innocent. Of course... who are we to impose on that? You've long been ruining happy lives on the assumption that the dodgy looking man with a poppy seed from a bagel stuck on his shoe is a drug mule, harbouring oodles of heroin in his underwear and haven't lost a moment's sleep over it. Great job! Of course there's no need to start scouting for the real criminals who walk your midst,... as that might stop you chasing the people bouncing cheques, which in turn might stop you blaming them for being the ones causing your economy to crumble. Doh!

Dubai's rejection of the technology could apparently prompt other sheep in the Middle Eastern states to follow their lead, like Abu Dhabi and Oman, in spite of the region being the fastest-growing airplane port in the whole wide world!

Amazing.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Google knows me...


Well it doesn't really know ME but it just picked up the provisional title of my new book, which is very exciting, innit! LOOOOK!!! (Click and it shall grow)

Shame I can't actually click on this link as I'm not a subscriber. To subscribe and read it would cost $20, and I'm cheap.

Anyway, oh blog how I've neglected you. Things have been impossibly busy as P and I are planning our next big adventure - a tour around the whole of Australia in seach of the REAL Australian man. We're sorting out trips and cruises and flights and buses and camel rides and everything else we'll need to do along the way, including securing our places on organic farms - wahey! I will come back with a more detailed itinerary once we're a little less stressed. It's like putting a gigantic jigsaw puzzle together, trying to get magazine commissions and places on press trips in return for coverage, finding out where we should and shouldn't go and learning something new every day, concerning what we really shouldn't miss. This is an effing HUGE country. It might just be the biggest adventure P and I have ever had - aside from Dubai.

In other news - I had a date the other week who hooked up with another girl, while we were still out on our date. Yes. Probably the most hilarious online endeavour ever. I took him to a pub with a bunch of my friends and fair enough I was talking to another bloke, but I turned round to find him MAKING OUT with another girl. Haha!! I meant to write it down properly but I'm still processing it. Sydney men are awesome *

*LIE

Back soon xxx

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Stackhouse in the house...


I'm officially excited. Jason Stackhouse is coming to the studio on Wednesday, and he just so happens to have the hottest body on Planet Earth. Even better than Taylor Lautner's in Eclipse. I mean.... look at him! It's ridiculous.

If he doesn't want a photo with me, I'm going to grab him in a headlock, force his arm around me and pose for one anyway. FACT. He's not getting away without me touching him. Be afraid.

Jason's real name of course, is Ryan Kwanten. He just plays the character of Sookie's brother in the show 'True Blood'. I've only seen the first season but I reckon Paul and I are gonna have to buy the second one to perv over when we're on our trip. More about that later. I've been so busy lately I haven't managed to blog, but I'll be making up for that shortly. Lots to talk about!

For now though, let's all perv over Ryan some more, shall we....